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If a picture is worth a thousand words, this one is worth a Mike Tyson thunder-punch across the chin of every apathetic, fixie riding, balls-tight jean wearing, ironic hipster’s ego. It perfectly sums up this blog without having to say a word. I tip my cycling cap and pour of some PBR to this man. You sir, are an Original Hipster.
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Your dad squeezed into skinny jeans before you did and he’s got the cramped balls to prove it. Clinging to his skin closer than your mom in heat, his denim was so tight you could forecast the weather based off his man bulge. Doctors could check his pulse by watching the rhythmic beat of cotton across his femoral artery and physicists often pondered the theoretical possibilities of how he got into them without using a black hole.
So hipsters, next time you’re struggling to get into a pair of lady inspired leg coverings or fem rocking chick cotton trying to look cool, remember this…
Your dad’s jeans were so tight that the OTPHJ was invented because of them.
Big thanks to Jess for today’s photo submission
Sorry hipsters, your dad was the original hipster and he was killing it back in the day.
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