Dads are the Original Hipsters

Sorry hipsters, your dad was the original hipster and he was killing it back in the day.

Your dad loved boxy cars before you did and he’s rolled a MkII Ford Cortina 1600E to prove it. 

His squared-off chariot rolled hate into haters hearts and had a backseat that dropped panties quicker than a laundry hamper. It was four corners of pure class and perfected lines that hugged more that just road’s curves. 

So hipsters, when you’re Vintage Volvo dreaming, or lusting after that late model E-30, remember this…

Your dad is the reason those cars are considered “Used,” and it’s not because he drove them first. 

Your dad was comfortable, unlike you’ll ever be. 

He smelled like a punch tasted and looked like a tidal wave of flesh. His body was a function mass of man crafted from heavy beer, bloody meat, and leather hand hardening hobbies. Shirtless, pantless… he didn’t give a fuck. He was who he was and anyone who cared could take it up with his middle finger. 

So hipsters, next time you’re dieting into your skinny jeans or blindly doing whatever it takes to be trendy as shit, remember this…

Your dad drank, fought, fucked, and ate like royalty because his ideal body was one earned from enjoying life at full volume. 

Hipsters, your shit-whip will never compare to your dad’s badass ride. 

Your dad got high as balls before you did and he’s got the hydroponic gardening skills to prove it. 

He rolled snow-cones of kush and had fifty gallon lungs that could rip a joint in a single hit. 

So hipsters, next time you’re inhaling some sweet and legal, remember this…

You have your dad to thank and if you’re nice he might just teach you the ways of his green thumb. 


Your dad was a struggling indie artist before you were. 

Fixed. theme by Andrew McCarthy