Dads are the Original Hipsters book is now shipping from Amazon. I might be bias, but I think it’s the best Father’s Day gift you can get him this year. 

Happy New Years Eve from Dads are the Original Hipsters.

Your dad threw down on New Years and he was usually naked before the ball even dropped. He wasn’t just celebrating bringing in a new year, he was celebrating surviving a year of PBR-street-fighting, skirt chasing, high speed, hell raising. And, when midnight finally came, he locked lips with every lady at the party.

So hipsters, when you’re whiskey-rape-kissing some poor girl who is wearing bright red lipstick and black tights, remember to go big tonight and make your dad proud because he was the king of ringing in the New Year. 

P.S. sorry the absence from blogging, I have been traveling like crazy. More to come in 2012 so keep submitting your photos. 

Your dad knew about irony before you did and he had “Le Car” to prove it. For $300 and a half roll of mint Lifesavers, he purchased rolling satire. His “chariot” cemented his place as “The Most Ironic Man in the World” because he bought a car that wasn’t a car, but called itself a car by writing car on the car. He was a visionary of irony that liked everything everyone else hated so once he made it popular he could hate on it and say he liked it before it was cool. He liked disco in the 60’s, hair metal in the 70’s, and wore Clarkston High School track shirts even though he’d never ran and didn’t go to that school. Everything he has ever done has been ironic, including loving you. 

So hipsters, in 2012 when you’re claiming that you voted for Rick Perry after the elections and saying that it was cool because nobody else did it or growing a mustache and refusing to admit that it doesn’t look terrible, remember this…

Your dad is so ironic that after spending his entire youth rebelling against his father the most ironic thing he could do was become him by having you and being a dad himself (which is also the same track you’re currently on, and yet another example of something else he did before you).

Thanks to Jessica for today’s awesome submission via the Facebook fan page. 

Your dad played the banjo before you did and he’s got the finger picking skills to prove it. In his quest to become a renaissance man of the obscure instrument world, he discovered the Tennessee 4 string. With a knife and his musical axe, he set off to hike the Appalachian Trail AKA the purest place on the planet to learn banjo. The woodland spirits showed him the chords and moonshine fueled his lessons. When he emerged from the wilderness 2,181 miles later, he had killed a bear, seduced mother nature and became a nimble-fingered, mother plucking prodigy of the hillbilly guitar. On quiet nights along the trail you can still hear his songs resonating through the trees and serenading the wilderness. 

So hipsters, next time you’re twanging strings while claiming to enjoy an unenjoyable instrument and dreaming that someday your folk band might become obscurely popular, remember this…

Your dad is the only man in history who has ever played something on the banjo that didn’t make listeners envy Beethoven and his inability to hear.   

Thanks to LG for today’s awesome photo. 

Your dad was into indie rock before you were and he’s made the LP’s to prove it. His band’s name was “Velvet Plaid and the Cherub Child.” They were the  Flight of the Conchords of the 70’s and their debut album “With the lights on” was pure vinyl ecstasy with a side of instrumental seduction. It was described as being a musical joy-splosion that rained auditory orgasms and made love to people’s listening holes. To hear them perform was like losing your virginity for a second time, getting it back and then losing it again. Then, late one night after killing a set at the Fillmore in Detroit, you happened. He married your mom (the vintage Florence from Florence + the Machine) and the band became a family. 

So hipsters, next time you’re dreaming of being the next Bon Iver, Mumford and Son or Fleet Foxes, remember this…

Your dad’s band was so underground that Pitchfork hasn’t even heard of him. 

Thank you to Lucian for today’s great photo.