Your dad had street style before you did and he has the non-military camo jacket to prove it. He was like the Marty McFly of being fly because his style was so fresh it was from the future. 40 years later and the world finally caught up with him.
Your dad was in an indie band before you were and he’s written the whining ballads to prove it. He was the Picasso of lyrical metaphors who birthed life into six strings every time he seduced the music from his guitar. To call him a genius is like saying the Swiss Alps are just hills. He was so far ahead of his time that his melodic masterpieces went unappreciated, thus making him the most indie of indie bands because nobody has every heard of him.
So hipsters, when you’re dry-raping the frets in hopes you can “find your sound” and make it so big that hundreds of people know who you are, remember this…
Your dad can give you lessons when you’re ready to finally swallow your pride and ask.
A special Valentine’s Day note…
Roses are red,
PBR goes down smooth,
Wear a condom or you’ll make a mini you.
A special message from Dads are the Original Hipsters, and your dad - Friday isn’t going to drink itself.
Your dad knew how to take an epic shot before you did and he’s got the photo composition skills to prove it. Back when a man could get shit-housed off a few dollars of sweat-pant money, he was out capturing the portraits that inspired Bob Ross to paint. He was a pornographer of mother nature’s beauty who exposed the world to sights they’d never seen.
So hipsters, when you’re taking panoramic iPhone 5 shots of nature’s wilds and attempting to share your moment of serenity on instagram so you can whore it out for double taps, remember this…
Your dad would be insta-famous if instagram was around when he was capturing his human experience.