Dads are the Original Hipsters

Your dad knew how to start a day off properly before you did and he’s double fisted the stimulants to prove it. But, unlike the fair-trade, organic, vegan, local bullshit that you drink, his brew was dark, angry and strong. Each cup was an aggressive morning cocktail of awake, bitterness and occasionally whiskey. It was the perfect accent to a nice lung dart and the morning ritual no original hipster would be without. 

Good morning from Dads are the Original Hipsters. 

Your dad drank coffee before you did. He has been drinking since before Starbucks was a small Seattle coffee shop and long before you stopped drinking Starbucks because it was “too mainstream.” His cups were strong, each sip was an eye jolting, bitch slap to drowsy that firmly signified work was about to begin.

You hipsters couldn’t sip from the same mug as your father.

Your coffee is sweetened with unrefined sugar from a fair trade farm in small town South America where the workers are paid a living wage. His was black. You top off your lattes with a non-fat, non-dairy, soy, vegan foam. Your dad doesn’t know what a fucking latte is, nor does he give a shit to find out. He drank coffee to wake up, not so he could have a free place to steal internet while bitching about all the political change that needs to happen. So hipsters, next time you want to be a perennial bad-ass, reach for some Folgers and harden the fuck up.