Dads are the Original Hipsters

Your dad wore raw denim before you did and he’s got the...

Wed, 01 May 2013 10:53:26 -0400

Your dad wore raw denim before you did and he’s got the faded indigo to prove it. His blues read like a biography of debauchery. They had a whiskey patina with a 10w30 Pollock treatment around the pockets. The fibers smelled of rich pine, adventure and stories words can’t describe. After years of shit-kicking across the earth, each pair was retired from his legs and buried ceremoniously.

So hipsters, when you’re donning your stank filled Japanese selvedge and chasing the white rhino of fade lines, remember this…

It’s called breaking in denim because your dad knew you had to break the spirit of the jeans in order for them to truly be yours.

Your dad is judging you, and he’s not impressed.

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:20:58 -0400

Your dad is judging you, and he’s not impressed.

Your dad was a badass mother fucker.

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:23:00 -0400

Your dad was a badass mother fucker.

Your dad had street style before you did and he has the...

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 11:38:36 -0500

Your dad had street style before you did and he has the non-military camo jacket to prove it. He was like the Marty McFly of being fly because his style was so fresh it was from the future. 40 years later and the world finally caught up with him.

Your dad was in an indie band before you were and he’s...

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:42:41 -0500

Your dad was in an indie band before you were and he’s written the whining ballads to prove it. He was the Picasso of lyrical metaphors who birthed life into six strings every time he seduced the music from his guitar. To call him a genius is like saying the Swiss Alps are just hills. He was so far ahead of his time that his melodic masterpieces went unappreciated, thus making him the most indie of indie bands because nobody has every heard of him.

So hipsters, when you’re dry-raping the frets in hopes you can “find your sound” and make it so big that hundreds of people know who you are, remember this…

Your dad can give you lessons when you’re ready to finally swallow your pride and ask.

A special Valentine’s Day note… Roses are red, PBR...

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 17:07:49 -0500

A special Valentine’s Day note…

Roses are red,

PBR goes down smooth,

Wear a condom or you’ll make a mini you.

A special message from Dads are the Original Hipsters, and your...

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 14:22:06 -0500

A special message from Dads are the Original Hipsters, and your dad - Friday isn’t going to drink itself.

Your dad knew how to take an epic shot before you did and...

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 15:17:15 -0500

Your dad knew how to take an epic shot before you did and he’s got the photo composition skills to prove it. Back when a man could get shit-housed off a few dollars of sweat-pant money, he was out capturing the portraits that inspired Bob Ross to paint. He was a pornographer of mother nature’s beauty who exposed the world to sights they’d never seen.

So hipsters, when you’re taking panoramic iPhone 5 shots of nature’s wilds and attempting to share your moment of serenity on instagram so you can whore it out for double taps, remember this…

Your dad would be insta-famous if instagram was around when he was capturing his human experience.

The origins of snowboarding.

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 14:41:00 -0500

The origins of snowboarding.

Your dad got shit rowdy before you did and he had a trunk full...

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:45:10 -0500

Your dad got shit rowdy before you did and he had a trunk full of kegs to prove it. He was the St. Nick of delivering drunk and when his frost brewed sleigh of destruction rolled up, livers were leveled.

So hipsters, when you’re breaking somebody else’s stuff at a party and throwing half-drank PBR’s at the walls, remember this…

The government changed the legal drinking age to 18 and your dad was the reason they had to change it back to 21.

Happy Friday.

Your dad had a crusty group of friends before you did.

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 11:36:41 -0500

Your dad had a crusty group of friends before you did.

I think the only time I been more excited for something was when...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 13:17:37 -0500

I think the only time I been more excited for something was when I stole my dad’s camera. Come join me tonight at the Woodshop in Clarkston for the first Dads are the Original Hipsters book signing and bourbon tasting. My dad will be there signing books too.

Just a reminder, this Saturday I will be doing a book signing in...

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:46:49 -0500

Just a reminder, this Saturday I will be doing a book signing in Clarkston, Michigan. I will be signing books with the man who inspired the blog. Hope to have a drink with anyone who can make it out.

A quick Christmas gift guide from Dads are the Original...

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:18:54 -0500

A quick Christmas gift guide from Dads are the Original Hipsters.

Things your dad doesn’t want.

1) Skinny Jeans

2) Another tie

3) Thrift shop ironic t-shirts

4) A free copy of Vice Magazine where you were featured in the “Don’ts” section

5) Skrillix - or any dubstep for that matter because it all sounds like transformers having sex

6) The deodorant you don’t use

7) Velocity rims for his bike

8) Your “art.” He pays for your liberal arts degree, don’t rub it in his face

9) Handmade Jorts

10) Free coffee from the coffee shop you work at

Things your dad does want.

1) You start paying your own rent

2) Give him back his SLR film camera

3) Give him back his bike

4) Admit he’s way more badass than you’ll ever be

5) A copy of Dads are the Original Hipsters

Head over to amazon to get him the gift he really wants.

http://www.amazon.com/Dads-Original-Hipsters-Brad-Getty/dp/1452108854

Your dad was a hot blooded beast. When Old Man Winter rolled...

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 10:46:00 -0500

Your dad was a hot blooded beast. When Old Man Winter rolled into town, he poured a glass of “fuck you” and gave a middle finger salute to the cold. He was an optimist who could see the benefit in every situation. When winter rolled into town, he realized it was nature giving him the largest walk-in beer cooler known to man and an excuse to keep growing in his face-scarf.

So hipsters, when you’re bitching about the cold while wearing a jean jacket with multiple layers of cardigans under it because winter jackets aren’t cool, remember this…

No matter how cold it got, your dad never had shrinkage.

To all my Michigan followers, I’ll be doing a book signing...

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 14:55:49 -0500

To all my Michigan followers, I’ll be doing a book signing in Clarkston just before the holidays. Come out and have a drink, pick up a signed book, and meet my dad.

Listen, your dad doesn’t need another tie for Christmas....

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 14:32:24 -0500

Listen, your dad doesn’t need another tie for Christmas. Why not give him a gift that says “You’re way more badass than I ever will be.”

Pick him up a copy of Dads are the Original Hipsters (it’s cheap enough that you can afford it on your barista salary).

http://www.amazon.com/Dads-Original-Hipsters-Brad-Getty/dp/1452108854

Listen up hipsters, did you honestly think vintage bikes were a...

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 10:28:25 -0500

Listen up hipsters, did you honestly think vintage bikes were a new thing? No, your dad was a two-wheeled king before you were even falling off training wheels.

So, when you’re dusting off your dad’s old velo-swag in the garage and thinking about stealing his pedal-whip because you want to convert it to the most badass fixie ever, remember that your dad marked his territory by tea bagging the top-rail. You can wash a frame, but you can’t wash away memories.

And, now you know where hipsters learned how to give zero...

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 10:58:00 -0500

And, now you know where hipsters learned how to give zero fucks.

Normally I don’t break format, but for the past 6 months...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 14:09:00 -0500

Normally I don’t break format, but for the past 6 months I’ve been working with adidas to create this short video called “The Cautionary Tale of Ebenezer Snoop.” I hope you all like it.