Your dad had big headphones before you did. Right now hipsters you’re probably readying this post with over sized headphones on, listening to a band you discovered on pitchfork, with your legs crossed, touching your face with your left hand, thinking about how douche bag skull candy ear buds are. There’s a reason your dad wore them, so he didn’t have to listen to you throw pissy fits and cry when you were a baby. The last thing he wanted to hear when Jimmy Page was thrashing through a solo was the gutteral, ear deafening screams that would make Beethoven thankful he was deaf.
So hipsters, next time you’re pulling on your headphones to listen to someone whine over bad guitar chords, remember this…
Your dad rocked big headphones because you were a bitch, he’d still be wearing them too but thankful he lost his hearing from living life turned up to 11 and now he can just ignore you.
ps - it’s a good thing you’re reading these words and not listening to them hipsters, because I would be ear banging your auricular cavities with the furious words of your suckitude.