Dads are the Original Hipsters

Sorry hipsters, your dad was the original hipster and he was killing it back in the day.

Cheers to the original badass and the death dodging mad man of destruction who’s been fucking shit up since ‘76. 


Your dad loved boxy cars before you did and he’s rolled a MkII Ford Cortina 1600E to prove it. 

His squared-off chariot rolled hate into haters hearts and had a backseat that dropped panties quicker than a laundry hamper. It was four corners of pure class and perfected lines that hugged more that just road’s curves. 

So hipsters, when you’re Vintage Volvo dreaming, or lusting after that late model E-30, remember this…

Your dad is the reason those cars are considered “Used,” and it’s not because he drove them first. 

Your dad was comfortable, unlike you’ll ever be. 

He smelled like a punch tasted and looked like a tidal wave of flesh. His body was a function mass of man crafted from heavy beer, bloody meat, and leather hand hardening hobbies. Shirtless, pantless… he didn’t give a fuck. He was who he was and anyone who cared could take it up with his middle finger. 

So hipsters, next time you’re dieting into your skinny jeans or blindly doing whatever it takes to be trendy as shit, remember this…

Your dad drank, fought, fucked, and ate like royalty because his ideal body was one earned from enjoying life at full volume. 

Your dad can do shit you’ll never be able to. 

He can NBA jam your ass if you step out of line and the only thing he slammed harder than your mom was dunks. 


Fixed. theme by Andrew McCarthy